When I was young, I was more interested in what's fashionable and promising good career and money, I did not dare to look seriously into occupations involving helping others. Like many others I felt the drive to help later in life. Choosing to study psychology, I was not fully aware of the deeper seated need than just interest in understanding how human psyche works. The truth was: I needed healing myself and it was the only path to draw my attention. I was studying Psychology, Psychoanalysis, Transpersonal Psychology, NLP, Hypnosis, Biofeedback, Energy Practices, Meditation… I was picking new directions to study and when was finally faced with starting to practice, I had to revisit my motivation. This is when I realised that my strongest motivation was not about making money, or finding a warm position in the established clinic, but it was about healing my own trauma. The trauma that I could not even name since there was no particular event or life circumstance that I could attach it to. I have seen my life experience as absolutely normal. But nevertheless, felt that I am overly sensitive than most people I worked with in a corporate world. I tend to gravitate and resonate with those as sensitive as me, i.e., the psychologists and spiritual seekers, who tend to be gentler and more vulnerable themselves (though I have met the exceptions from that too).
I remember asking a teacher of Psychotherapy at the university: "Do psychotherapists tend to have more mental problems that those in other professions?" And he honestly admitted that 'yes', 'if they would have been normal, they would have never chosen this occupation', 'whatever we say, we first and foremost seek to heal ourselves' and 'in this search of self-healing we usually walk a long path and find maps and tools to help ourselves stay afloat or adapt to life' and 'after finding and making progress ourselves, we can become guides for others … at least to the fragment of the path we already covered'.